Life has been an interesting journey for me lately. Connecting with new people on twitter, going out for drinks with them, it all feels a little alien to me. I spend so little time at my computer anymore. I look back and think of the hundreds of people I used to interact with every day. Over time I think I closed that group down a little, to maybe ten or so who could still impact on my life. I was spreading myself too thinly. From that handful though, people were whittled away until there were about for people I'd even bother turning the computer on for.
The beauty of that small number, is that I know I don't have to talk to them every day. I know that they are there for me if I need them, and they know I am there for them too.
I wonder if I am trying to fill a void, by all this social activity, or am I just trying to be normal? I think I am trying to find out whether this is something I like doing, something I can afford to do. I think I struggle with finding a balance between recluse and overdoing it.
On the other hand, I've set myself a gamerscore goal on my 360 for the first time in ages. I want to get to 81000 by July 31. It's an arbitrary number, but I've been in the 70k region for ages and I want to break out. I basically need 50g per day between now and then, but I think I've done 500 in three days heh.
All of this, I think, is a bit of a distraction from the shakes. The less I have to think about them or anticipate them, the better. I just hope no more buildings fall down around me. If we can avoid that, I think I can make it through anything.